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[endlessrarities]

Perhaps this is a sign that I'm suffering a mid-life crisis, but...  I made the mistake of looking up a Horses For Sale website last night.

I now wish I hadn't.  Because, almost inevitably, amongst the scruffy ranks of piebald cobs, something lovely caught my eye.  For the princely sum of £3,500 (the price of a reasonable second hand car...), I could purchase a very handsome 10 year old chestnut hunter gelding which bears more than a little resemblance to my poor old horse Squire.  It's a lovely looking animal, the sort of animal I could picture myself working with  long-term.

Make no mistake.  I would really love to join the ranks of horse ownership again.  Bumming around on a riding school beastie for half an hour each week just serves to fuel the fire.  But I know full well it's unrealistic.  The demands on your time, and the emotional and spiritual demands of being responsible for a huge and very labour-intensive animal are just too much for me these days, and that's without taking the financial implications into account.  If I was in a better paid job, and a more secure career, it would be a viable option.  But I'm not, and it isn't.  A horse would come first, and now as then, once the deal was struck, it would be until death us did part, as far as I'm concerned.

Ah, well.  If wishes were horses...

Today, I will attend to the wishes of the snowbound and frost-smitten and post some pictures of our spring garden.  We went to the garden centre today, and I came back with a handful of ranunculus plants.  I've always fancied trying ranunculus: they're up-market relations of the buttercup which have lovely buttercup-type flowers (these ones are double) in a variety of colours.  I've chosen reds, pinks, whites and picotees, and I'm looking forward to seeing them bloom.  I'll post some more pictures as they come out into bloom.

Here's the front border, with two ranunculus plants added to the primula which were planted there last year:-

 

And now here's a picture of what J describes as 'The Secret Garden'.  This is an area of what was originally dead space under our weeping silver pear tree (aka 'Cousin It').  J planted it up with snowdrops, crocus, anemone, wood anemone and daffodils the year before last, and I'd planted bluebells there previously:-

 

It's still got a bit of maturing to go, but it's making excellent progress. 

And lastly, because it's daffodil time, here's some daffodils:-

 

And tomorrow, I'd better post my 'Castle of The Month', since we're approaching the end of March and I still haven't featured any medieval fortifications yet...  I'll have to dredge the archives, but I'm sure I'll find something to entertain you!

Comments

[endlessrarities.livejournal.com]

My previous horse accumulated a number of admirers. One wealthy airline pilot with an odious wife and children took me aside one day and asked me if I'd be willing to sell my horse to him, as his wife had taken quite a shine to him. He was most alarmed when I replied with a completely straight face that I'd rather have my horse shot than sell him to anyone. And I meant it.

Having to make the decision that he'd reached the end of his natural days and that it was kinder to put him to sleep rather than have him go on suffering was horrible, and I still haven't got over losing him completely, but at least I know that I kept him going as long as I possibly could, which was the least I could do considering he'd given me the best years of his life.

Lots of so-called horse-lovers I met through the years couldn't believe that I'd kept him so long, when he couldn't do anything more than graze in the field chilling out with his pals. He deserved his retirement, because it was the abuse from a succession of owners (including myself, because I scrimped on shoeing costs and let him jog on hard tarmac roads) which brought about the leg troubles that crippled him.

If I had my chance with him again, I'd do things differently...

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

If I had my chance with him again, I'd do things differently...

I think we can all say that same thing on one topic or another. I wish I'd taken Minka to the vet when I first noticed she was losing weight. But with, at the time, 8 cats, you just don't go to the vet for every little thing.

[endlessrarities.livejournal.com]

It's difficult isn't it? Our first family cat was ruined when we put him in a cattery for a few weeks when we went on holiday. He was never the same again - the trust had gone between us.

What was the problem with Minka? Was it the usual kidney trouble?

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

I never knew. One evening, we left the house to go shopping briefly. When we came home and I was putting groceries away, she started screaming and went into convulsions. We grabbed her (I have a memory of Penny licking the top of her head, like she was saying, "what's the matter, baby?") and jumped into the car and sped to an Emergency Vet office. She died 5 minutes after we got there. The stupid vet then, even though we'd asked him to, never did any tests to find out what it was or if it was even communicable to the other cats, because "she died, what's the point?" I nearly killed him.

But that was about 2 weeks before I moved out of my ex-husband's house so I wasn't exactly in the most stable of emotional health anyway.

[endlessrarities.livejournal.com]

That's horrific - and a bit weird!!

We had a cat that had a series of strokes before she died, and she used to go into convulsions and foam at the mouth when she had a major fit. She also had the classic 'kidney' cat look. We also had a cat die of what I can only describe as 'total cat failure' - she had the usual kidney trouble, and really just faded away, getting tired and listless and very depressed. Our last and most recent loss was a combination of kidney failure and a gastro-intestinal problem which seemed to be cancer-related. And the other two were cancer, pure and simple.

But they were all really old, so while it hurt at the time, it was perfectly natural, so it didn't feel quite so bad. Again, they'd had a good innings, and we'd done our best for them, so it felt like it was appropriate to wave them goodbye as they joined the kitty ancestors.

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

Yes, it was weird; came out of just nowhere. She'd had NO other symptoms of which I was aware and we didn't keep anything poisonous where they could get at them.

My wonderful old Mason kitty who was with me for over 20 years and gods know how many moves and relocations, finally had a massive stroke/seizure and we had to have him put to sleep. It hurt like Hell and I mourned but at the same time, he was 20! He'd lived a full and rich live and we'd loved each other richly; somehow it was easier to say good-bye to him than it was Minka who was only 4 and had so much live ahead of her.

I miss each of my departed animals and prefer to envision an afterlife where I'll see them again.

[endlessrarities.livejournal.com]

I often dream of all my now-deceased animals. I like to think they're coming to visit me! I dreamt of Cat #1 as recently as Friday...

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

I like that idea and totally see that as being possible. I have met a friend's dog that felt I could see my old Perry looking at me through his eyes. I often think that and feel that sometimes I sense my Mother near as well; it's very comforting. I don't require knowing if it's 'real', I'll take the happiness wherever I can find it.